I truly believe fantasy (and perhaps hope, too) is a gift from the gods.

When I was little, and also into My teenage years, the time before sleep used to be one of the most exciting ones of the day. I'd close My eyes and just...dream. Fantasize. Create. Remember and develop memories. Sense and feel. If was imagining that I'm flying and would really concentrate, I'd have the sense of lifting off from the bed and floating. It felt like magic because it didn't matter if it was real or not. Perhaps also because I was doing it before bed, My subconscious would let Me play in those blurred lines between the wakened states and I could fully relax into it, it was so easy.

Now I also play with others' fantasies. It could be just a natural extension of My secret hobby from childhood, but getting into people's heads and their desires and helping develop them drops Me back into those very pleasant states. I like the slowing down, the noticing of what arises, the sound of the heartbeat, the breath, the pause, the surprise of the next thought and words. 

I whisper in your ear. Or did I just bit it?

Was what I said true or did I just make you believe it? Sense it? Feel it? Be convinced of the experience of it?

If you felt it, then it's true, right?

And then I laugh. A moment disturbed. In fact, brutally brought back to be awakened. You search for reassurance in My loving eyes as to what has just transpired.

Perhaps it doesn't matter.

Perhaps it's whatever I want. 

Dreaming,
Eve

Dust. It moves with no effort, at a speed that is given to it by the air, gravity and the surroundings. It swirls, floats and simply pulses to another side if pushed. And when (not if) that happens, after a little chaos, it goes back to its usual.

So calming and so beautiful once you really pay attention - you think. You've been watching the dust moving for hours through the little cell window and you have never felt so serene. 

Suddenly, the desire of breathing in, even swallowing that dust arises in you. Filling your lungs and whole body with that shiny air that perhaps was in My body before consumes your mind. The realisation that I share that air, that perhaps I'm even there watching you through cameras on the other side startles you and your heart starts beating fast. You smile and kneel to pray. Just like I told you. 

The freshly made mark just under your right buttock stretches and stings as you get into the position. You don't remember anything except My eyes, My smile and the smell of a burning skin. How long ago was it? You've lost count, even if it wasn't so long ago. You can only count the dust now and your only time measurement is the gaps between hearing My voice. The silence that follows is filled with so much aliveness, so much gratitude and love, it takes long to get back into the serene state to be ready for My next appearance. 

And so the dust is here for you. And so is the hard cold floor. So is the chastity cage. So is the thin mattress and the notebook for your prayers and dreams. 

And so am I. Even if we're separate, we have never been so close. And you have never embraced life as it truly is - beautiful, effortless and full of wonder - so deeply before. 

You crawl on your fours to the notebook and pick up a pen. Facing the door, as instructed, you put the notebook on the altar table and start a new page:

'An Ode to Eve.
Or...An Ode to Life.'

You know I cannot wait to read it.
 
With Love,
Eve

You might have heard the terms 'lifestyle' or 'professional' Dominants, meaning that the former engages in BDSM out of personal interest and the latter for mostly financial reasons. Of course, a lot of people are a mix of two. I want to stress, that no option is wrong or less worthy than the other, in My opinion. You can have wonderful time with a Dominatrix who does it purely as a profession and would never engage in BDSM at home, and you can have a horrible time with a Dominant who does it because they identify as a Dominant person and 'lives' it. And some of you will spend a lot more money on a 'lifestyle' Dominant than the 'professional' one. It all really depends on the people involved.  

The reason I am writing about this is because I want to clarify where I am on this multi-pronged scale for both My current and future submissives. It feels important to do so, because it will give you yet another insight into My mind and thinking, which in turn will lead Me to deeper connections with you. 

I am a Dominant person. I have always been - in subtle ways in the past, and certainly less subtle these days. In general life for Me, this shows up as 'I know what I want', mostly. And 'I will get it', eventually. I tend to guide and take action, mostly with empathy, sometimes with impatience and annoyance. This doesn't mean I dominate the conversation or My friends do only what I tell them to, or that I even want them to (ok, sometimes). Remember consent and complexity of human nature?

In kink, this shows up as...Well, My partners have all been submissive, except for the beginning of My journey (they were switches). It brings Me a lot of joy to play with someone's vulnerabilities, with their fears and desires and to have their trust. I learn that way about Myself, too. It's not even about gender, although it's certainly deeply satisfying to see men being well trained and eager submissives. But mostly - I am interested in you (mostly - on your knees), how you make Me feel and what I want to do with that.

And yet, there is also something deeply satisfying to engage in Domination in a professional setting, whether on My own or in a dungeon. Meeting new people, some of whom I will never see again. Having My own website, which I probably wouldn't do if I was only in 'lifestyle' kink. Charging tributes. Continuously being pushed to learn more and to be a part of the amazing network of those who do it 'professionally'. 

I do see less and less new people however, and I have much less patience for those who drag My energy and quicker ability to discern if this is a relation I want to pursue, no matter how big/little of a monetary tribute you can make towards My life. So does this make Me a 'lifestyler' or a 'professional'?

A 'professional lifestyler', perhaps. Or a 'lifestyle professional'?

Or simply someone with a deep interest in how to make this work for Myself even better. 

Joyfully Curious,
Eve

I've recently had the privilege of spending time with other Dominatrices and Dominant women and one thing struck me - their big hearts. The ability to feel and to intuit. To actually listen and think about others. To be open to the world and to be able to choose how they want to be in the world, having all these abilities. That does not mean anyone will witness this heart unconditionally, but if you do and if you prove to be deserving of it - your heart will grow, too. 

My own style of Dominance has been shifting over the years, sometimes with more heart, sometimes with less of it. It is easy to get closed off when we're dealing with mostly men - I'm sure you can imagine what that can be like. I have been in periods where hate seemed to have been the remorseless ruler. But then I'd come back to Myself and My heart. I always do, because those parts are stronger and My love for kink and full life is stronger, too. 

The heart also grows with devoted submissives. To Me, a devoted submissive brings energy, delights and serves My spirit with grace and confidence. It is a relationship that is so honest and truthful, sometimes it is unbelievable that other people can exist without this. 

Thus, take care of your Dominant's heart - it is one of a kind. But of course, and it goes without saying, make sure you do it only the way they like it. 
 
In Summer Bloom,
Eve

It may seem like an obvious or, conversely, ambitious claim, but I'd like to say it out loud and in writing - submitting to a Dominatrix is inherently a religious experience.

All the elements are there. Approaching the Goddess with respect, wishing and hoping. Carving out a special time. Arriving to a special space (a dungeon or another) or a space that will shift from casual to sacred once the Dominatrix arrives. There is a ritual (obvious or not), there is worship, rules and etiquette, there is a beginning and an end, there is mystery and vulnerability, a change. There might even be a transcendence.

Now, for the non-spiritual of you or those with bad religious experience, this may seem a little uncomfortable. But worry not, as it's in your nature and daily life already. According to Mircea Eliade (one of the most influential scholars of religion), the non-religious human has in fact made herself by desacralizing life. Even if one may claim that the origins of humanity where devoid of religion, it certainly has been ingrained deep into us and evident even through the most minor habits.

I'm writing this because I want to give permission to you, the reader, to behave in the manner of the sacred. Even to exaggerate it.

Ultimately, submitting to a Dominatrix is the opportunity to express through actions things that are fundamentally resistant to language.

Ultimately, the Dominatrix is the manifestation of the sacred (hierophany).

Ultimately, you know it already.

Do treat this as a heavenly gate of opportunity. Play with the tools that may bring you ecstasy even before meeting your Dominatrix, such as prayer, meditation and regular thoughts about Her. Be there with intention and see what opens up over time - after all, "access to spiritual life always entails death to the profane condition, followed by a new birth."

In other words, you may became closer to gods yourself.

With Heavenly Embrace,
Eve

As My submissives know, higher protocol D/S dynamics are My lifestyle. That is obvious in My 'professional' sessions as well, because I do not cater to your needs as My focus. I cater to My own pleasure and use you for that as appropriate - within our dynamic and agreements and certainly with deep care. I make it clear at the start, and it is your choice if this kind of approach to D/S is what you're looking for.

However, in the last few years the world really has not been ok. And it doesn't seem to get better. Dehumanizing each other, lack of empathy and brutal violence seem to have become - more and more - the way people relate to one another. I do believe this stems from a vicious cycle of internalised and externalised violence and negligence we have experienced ourselves. From a lack of touch, lack of ability to be with another with full presence and honesty without being rejected. And from a lack of space to explore the vulnerability or so-called 'shadow' parts of you - be it shame, fear, desire, anger or other.

As part of My activism and My desire to go deep, I have decided to offer something a bit different for a limited time - sessions that are dedicated to you and are all about you. I called them Initiation with Eve.

Here will dig deeper into what you desire or perhaps what you lack. We may make a plan of emotions and sensations you'd like to be with or experience via the path of BDSM, sensuality and/or touch. We may just be together in silent presence. Or we may create a ritual for a release, for change, for grief. The space is for you and there is no need to limit yourself to what 'should' be.
 
It's not a new offer per se, as I've certainly have included elements of this in My sessions, but not with such clear intention of you being the focus. And yes, this will require work from you, but I'll be there to guide you. 

Let's initiate you into a joyful change and start something new.

Forever Dreaming Up Better Worlds For All,
Eve

Whenever I hear someone say that for them BDSM does not include sex, I want to ask them - and how do you define 'sex' exactly?

I respect people creating their own unique BDSM relations that may or may not involve 'sex' (whatever that means for them), however I noticed that often in such statements lies a very conservative understanding of what sex is in general - that it is only penetrative/oral sex (anal is definitely on the fence).

If you prefer to keep that definition of sex, that is fine. However, I do feel it can be limiting, especially for those looking to expand their pleasure possibilities. I feel sex is more about the energy that flows between people - the erotic tension, the playful tease, the easy-going care - rather than specific activities. It can look differently for different people. For example, spitting in someone's mouth to Me can be the way we kiss. Holding someone on a leash as I look into their eyes is sex. Kicking in the balls can be incredibly erotically arousing. Biting on the nipples can make one cum. Cleaning done properly may unleash something. The list is really never-ending.

I understand there are reasons not to involve 'sex' in your BDSM play - if you're playing with strangers and you want to make sure it's not creepy or unsafe for them, so you play without any erotic energy. If you are only interested in physical sensation without any wish for arousal or attraction. But even then, you can define that as 'sex'.

Then you may ask, if everything can be sex, what is NOT sex? I'll leave that for you to define for yourself. You are your own unique sexual being, remember that.

For Me, well...

Life is sex.

In The Mood,
Eve

As most of you are are aware, being a dominatrix requires skills*. From hard ones, such as techniques and knowledge of tools and bodies, to soft ones, such communication and psychology. It really is a never-ending learning once you set foot into this world.

The interest in soft skills was what drew Me to Femdom to begin with - how can you play with the mind? How can you seduce and tease? How can you humiliate effectively, in a way that pleases Me? And as I played, the hard skills came as a result. I remember one of the first times I tied someone (long before I was a dominatrix). I didn't know how, but it simply made sense to do it in the scene we were playing. I was making them into a complete fucktoy for Me and they needed not to be able to move in order for that to happen. I did it with a stocking as I didn't have any rope.  Even though it ended up serving more as a mental bondage, it still worked. After that, I decided to learn some rope basics and purchase rope.

With some people and with some skills, I notice it happens the other way round - they start loving a hard skill, such as rope or impact play, and then develop the rest as they realise their game only benefits from the way they can communicate, either with words or touch, or from the way they can tease and understand the other person's needs and desires. So they're inevitably inextricable and it doesn't matter how you come to the knowledge, as long as you are curious and play safe-ish.

This year, I have a desire to deepen My hard skills and here is the list:

• Caning
• Waterboarding (as play)
• Predicament bondage
• Perfecting My whipping
• Possibly breath play...or I'd like to add something creative I haven't considered yet - any suggestions?

*Erotic labourers or sex workers are generally very skilled in various ways, despite the pervasive myths that they are not.

In My Wonderful Nerd Mode,
Eve

Over the holidays I picked up a book about loneliness that I've been meaning to read for some time - The Lonely City by Olivia Laing.

It is a familiar topic to Me, as being alone has both been a precious choice and a burden in the past. Although, when I let Myself think about that, I realize the latter happened mostly when I learnt (or was taught) that being alone meant there's probably something 'wrong' with you. It's when I've experienced feelings of FOMO (fear of missing out) or fears of being judged or shamed. What's more, as the book describes it, such shameful loneliness grows on you. It becomes like a sticky web that is hard to shake off. The more isolated you become, the harder it is to untangle yourself from it. It's as if people smell your loneliness from a distance and you are absolutely exposed if you don't hide. Or maybe you become so comfortable with your own space that others don't seem to fit in there, even if you have a hunger for that connection. Which in turn, leaves you questioning again if there really - truly - is something wrong with you.

But yet again, as with all shadow and difficult aspects of our lives, I am fascinated by solitude, loneliness and isolation. One of My favourite quotes from the book questions it all, too:

'So much of the pain of loneliness is to do with concealment, with feeling compelled to hide vulnerability, to tuck ugliness away, to cover up scars as if they are literally repulsive. But why hide? What's so shameful about wanting, about desire, about having failed to achieve satisfaction, about experiencing unhappiness?'

I see no shame here. I celebrate your wanting. Your craving. Your fantasies. You desire for touch. Your desire to not touch. To be left alone and yet connected. To be in My presence even if it feels like a fleeting moment. Your desire to try and fail. To be unhappy and then also be happy. And then try again and feel all of that rip through your body - again.

How can that be not beautiful?

Read this as your open invitation to come to Me with your loneliness and pulsing wounds. I'll decide if I want to devour them or tend to them but there is no need to hide.

And I also remember that some of My happiest memories are when I'm lost, wandering and alone - in the city, in the forest, in the jungle or on the road, wild as the wind. So first - catch Me if you can and show Me your loneliness is worth Mine.

Kisses,
Eve

2024 has been expansive. I've achieved all the goals I've set (even the big ones), which to Me is a sign of Me moving in the right direction. Before I used to find goal setting pointless or disruptive. However now, as I am even more in My power, My goal list simply serves as a reminder to check in with Myself and to act, if that goal is still creating a desire in Me.

Most importantly, this year I've travelled almost every month of the year and spent time with the people who were curious, generous with their worship, soul and heart, who pushed Me to new experiences and challenges and who served so very well (or not so well despite your best efforts, but I've enjoyed training you). I became very strict in My submissive selection process, which was a game changer for Me. I realised, yet again, I can truly shape the world in My Desire.

And trust Me, it's a wonderful world that I am creating.

I hope that in 2025 I will continue to expand. This may mean being outside of Lithuania even more (those in Lithuania should not waste their time if they wanted to ask Me out on a date and do it sooner than later), learning new hard skills, collaborating more and truly living the vision of Femdom in all parts of My life.

Dare to live your dream in 2025, too.

With Love,
Eve