Surrender

The desire for dominance is so enmeshed in every part of our lives - the news, work, politics, even within ourselves. We hear that to dominate is to be powerful, especially non-consensually (on that later). And the opposite - to surrender or submit - is often seen as weak. 

But I want to propose a different view. I believe that surrender, in fact, is another form of power, and quite an essential one for happiness and pleasure, no matter the gender.

Surrender takes immense vulnerability and will. I often tell my clients, who are interested in being dominated, that if they do not want to surrender to me or surrender in general, I won’t be able to make them, nor would I want to. I got better things to do with my time than force someone into something they don’t want. Sometimes clients hope that by some magic, I will make them give in and let go purely with my persona and skills, and others just want to see if it is at all possible for them. But there is no magic here (well, unless you see magic everywhere, which I don't necessarily disagree with).
 
What I do is help co-create a vulnerable, intimate space where it may feel safer to surrender. Where you may start trusting me enough to let go, where you may start trusting yourself to let go, whatever that means for you. In order to do so, it requires quite a few skills - first knowing your own limits so you can become generous within them, as Betty Martin, the creator of Wheel of Consent says. Second, being able to open your heart, have curiosity and compassion for yourself, amongst other things. Third - being able to notice and communicate.

It might be scary and might take some time, but it is possible if you have a desire for it. I can help you gain and improve those skills to make surrender even more pleasurable and deep. And you will notice just how powerful you actually are, without the need to gain that off from others. A new type of contentment may appear in your life.

So, I’m curious - when was the last time you could surrender? When was the last time you could trust someone else with your full heart to give you direction, to care for you or maybe just to witness you as you are?

With Pleasure,
Eve