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Diary

The Erotic as an Antidote to Death*

5/9/2024

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These past few weeks have been full of eroticism for me - as spring tends to be. It extended to me spending a lot of time in my yard, breathing in the sun, noticing pollen floating everywhere at a slower speed than I am used to and as a result making me sink even more into that local natural rhythm with the birch trees opening to their full green and swaying along to the movement of the wind. And me - laying there amongst it all, sensing the awakening soil and the gently tickling grass underneath me.

I could stay there forever, it seemed. Even though I was technically not "doing" anything, I felt so full-y alive.

To pause. To notice. To let the sensations take you and feel good, feel safe within them. I had to re-learn and un-learn to be able to do this. Still am learning it, especially when the world around sometimes seem to conspire against it. The delicate feeling of being aroused by all of it is the eroticism. Note, there is no human partner involved in here. But with partners it can be taken even further.

When I first started doing erotic work, I had a video call with my mentor who, as soon as they saw me, exclaimed "ah I can see you've been working! Your eyes are shining!" I felt so much erotic energy within me and around me, I actually didn't know what to do with it. It was a pleasurable, potent overwhelm for my body and mind. It kept me moving in the direction I desired. Etymology of "arouse"? Rise, wake, awaken, stir to action.

Do you remember a time when you truly had a crush for someone? Didn't everything taste just that little bit better?

Would you like to have that feeling a little longer? But coming out from a centered place, giving you more energy, more motivation, more kindness, more focus.

By writing this, all I want to do is to remind you that it is possible. That eroticism is part of you already.

As Bataille says "As often as not, it seems to be assumed that man has his being independently of his passions. I affirm, on the other hand, that we must never imagine existence except in terms of these passions."

So go live and feel, my dear hedonists.

*This sentence comes from Esther Perel and I first learnt about it from Four Chambers (experimental erotic content company, check them out).


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