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People who declare themselves full-time submissives - as in their whole sexuality and relations are based on being submissive - is a comparatively smaller number in my experience. Most of the people I meet are so called ‘switches’ - submissive in some occasions or to certain people (like me) and dominant in other occasions (with other partners, spouses etc), and some like to indulge in both in the same evening.
How does this choice happen? Is it about the relation, is it about a specific kink, is it about the power / lack of power a specific person yields? I think there is no simple answer, BUT. I was reading an article about the dominatrix Catherine Robbe-Grillet and the reporter asked her: ‘How can you tell who is really the submissive and who is really the dominant in any given relationship? Appearances are so often deceptive.’ Her answer? “The one whose need is the greatest is the submissive.” I like the shortness and simplification of this and I think it can help navigate certain dynamics. She doesn’t deny that a Domme may still have a need for a submissive, for a toy, a body, a mind, a connection and a tool to play with. But it’s often much less of a need than the need of the submissive - to serve, to be used and of use, to express, to not think, to please, to give in; you name it. So, my submissive toys - remember that your need is always greater than mine, and that you will always be a source of entertainment to me because of it. But don't worry, I cherish you precisely for it. Kisses, Eve
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I've been really enjoying reading The History & Arts of the Dominatrix by Anne O Nomis and wanted to share a few inspirations I had. Since there is so little historical information and literature available to the general public about historical Dominatrices, this book is a great glimpse into it. Reading it has been very calming, inspiring and empowering me, despite all the persecution and secrecy these people had to operate under. Looking at the photos of the Domintraces from different decades (plus engravings of Dominatrix Goddesses in ancient items) also struck me. I became in such awe of these women, who despite what the society thought at that time (that s/m was a mental illness, as well as being gay etc) they were full of love and care. They made a good living. They were true professionals. They developed their life the way they wanted. They helped people be themselves. They created fashion trends, they invented tools. They were connecting to something very primal and even sacred. Of course, these are only my impression and I don't shy away from occasional exaggeration, but I think most of you would agree with me. I especially connected to the pictures of Ms Doreen (who used many other names, apparently more than a secret agent) who worked and played in London in the 60s. Very feminine, but enchanting, calm and sexual - for sure an inspiration. Apparently she was one of the best. People would find her through recommendations and mail posting. You'd secretly visit her house where she also had a bespoke dungeon (my wish, too), which was 'soundproofed for discretion, and housed a padded pillory, whipping bench and a bondage chair, upholstered with sharp spikes. She also had an impressive collection of whips, alongside her other pieces of discipline and punishment equipment'. She also had a 'remarkable' collection of leather and vinyl clothing, also attire for cross-dressers and trans people, and an enormous collection of stiletto-heeled shoes and boots, also for the clients. Suddenly I felt very romantic towards these times before the internet where you had to be in the circle to know about these women and their services, where you had to go to a specialised dress-maker for your 'bizarre' attire. Of course, it was even more classist and attainable only to the elite than it is now. But I imagine (or at least hope) that the respect these women got from their clients was equal to worshipping a goddess. It also inspired me to finally start the project about BDSM history and practices in Lithuania. After all, if it's not us, the community and practitioners ourselves, who else will do it? With Love and Curious Mind, Eve Maybe it's too early for yearly overviews, but I'll be going on holiday soon and resting at least until the beginning of January, so I want to take this moment to share a few thoughts about 2023. Firstly, I really want to express my enormous gratitude and love to all the people I played with this year. 2023 has been probably the best year of my life so far, if it's even possible to measure that. And a big part of it were you - my submissives and dates :) My highlights include working between Lithuania and the UK, building my tool and wardrobe selection, inflicting delicious pain (both physical and mental) and laughing so so much both at you and with you. Also realising more and more what gives me true pleasure. As you know, I also always ask for feedback and have learnt so much from it. I made mistakes for sure, especially when it comes to my intensity and energy, and I really appreciate those who help me develop my skills as a Dominant and remain in my life. People who disappeared after a session without giving any feedback happened rarely in 2023, but hurt me nevertheless - although I also realize not all have the ability to process the experience and communicate that. My next year main goals are to tour more and develop new relationships with dedicated fetishists and hedonists :) Here's to a new year full of pleasure and kindness! Hope to play with you in 2024!  With Love,
Eve The desire for dominance is so enmeshed in every part of our lives - the news, work, politics, even within ourselves. We hear that to dominate is to be powerful, especially non-consensually (on that later). And the opposite - to surrender or submit - is often seen as weak.
But I want to propose a different view. I believe that surrender, in fact, is another form of power, and quite an essential one for happiness and pleasure, no matter the gender. Surrender takes immense vulnerability and will. I often tell my clients, who are interested in being dominated, that if they do not want to surrender to me or surrender in general, I won’t be able to make them, nor would I want to. I got better things to do with my time than force someone into something they don’t want. Sometimes clients hope that by some magic, I will make them give in and let go purely with my persona and skills, and others just want to see if it is at all possible for them. But there is no magic here (well, unless you see magic everywhere, which I don't necessarily disagree with). What I do is help co-create a vulnerable, intimate space where it may feel safer to surrender. Where you may start trusting me enough to let go, where you may start trusting yourself to let go, whatever that means for you. In order to do so, it requires quite a few skills - first knowing your own limits so you can become generous within them, as Betty Martin, the creator of Wheel of Consent says. Second, being able to open your heart, have curiosity and compassion for yourself, amongst other things. Third - being able to notice and communicate. It might be scary and might take some time, but it is possible if you have a desire for it. I can help you gain and improve those skills to make surrender even more pleasurable and deep. And you will notice just how powerful you actually are, without the need to gain that off from others. A new type of contentment may appear in your life. So, I’m curious - when was the last time you could surrender? When was the last time you could trust someone else with your full heart to give you direction, to care for you or maybe just to witness you as you are? With Pleasure, Eve Recently during a session, in quite a heated moment, my client whispered: 'Is this real'?
I looked at him, and re-reassuringly responded 'yes'. It certainly was for me. After the session, I asked him to elaborate on what he meant exactly. He said he felt so far away from his daily life and routine and was in such a different state, that suddenly it all felt surreal. So he wanted to be sure. I am glad I can co-create such states with and for people. Many of us think that pleasure is a luxury - for one reason or another - but pleasure is all around us. It is within us and our bodies are wired for pleasure. It can feed us and heal us, even in the most difficult times. But I'm not talking about difficult times really - people who come to see me are mostly privileged and at least have some external safety. However, pleasure, and especially sexual pleasure, is so far away from many people's daily lives, despite them wanting more of it and theoretically having all the access to it - sex toys, dating apps etc. We ne to re-learn how to enjoy, play and feel pleasure. How to reduce shame. Because, to be honest, these states my client was in are also the states that can sometimes feel the most real thing in one's life. And it's so worth it. Kisses, Eve I had a session recently with a new client and the simple act of seeing his saliva dribbling over his chest, down to his belly all the way from his gagged mouth was just...exhilarating. Certainly, this is not the first time a man in my company finds himself in such an uncomfortable situation, but there was something so simple and profound in seeing him gagged and tied up and just...dribbling non-stop.
What is it about seeing men being helpless? Maybe it's the big taboo in finding a man without power and potentially embarrassed in front of a woman (with his consent). Maybe it's about making a mess. Maybe it's about not being polite and in order, not being perfect, just a raw human animal - dribbling, salivating, trying to stop but not being able to. Maybe it's my own desire speaking. I shall take a photo another time to memorise these small beautiful moments that I cherish (I never take photos with first time clients unless they specifically ask). Maybe you will appreciate it, too. With Pleasure, Eve I've been dreaming about creating a little world for and about my work on the internet for a while. A space that belongs to me and that I have (at least theoretically) complete control of. How very Dominatrix of me, isn't it?
So welcome. I am so happy to have you here. I will use this diary to share my ideas, observations and wonder. Maybe creative writing - who knows. There is excitement in the knowing that someone may read this and equally freedom in the knowing that I am writing in a vast no man's land - may these diaries be lost and found by those who need it. With Pleasure, Eve |
Mx Eve
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January 2026
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