Language is important - no FLR for Me

There are many ways to love and / or be in relations. One of them is known as FLR - a Female Led Relationship. In BDSM it's a kind of lifestyle Dominant / Submissive dynamic with the Femme being the Dominant. Partners may not call themselves Submissive or Dominant, but the dynamic is there.

Some of you come to Me with desires of FLR, often without even knowing the term. This type of relation is My preference, too, but hearing the term - FLR - oh it rubs all of My sensual self the wrong way.

Maybe I have this reaction because I'm narratophillic and I am very sensitive to language expression that doesn't make sense to Me. Maybe because gender is a social construct (ie. 'Female' led) and this is such a hetero term. But mainly it's the fact that when I was growing up I saw a lot of Female Led Relationships around Me and to Me it means to something completely different, no matter what the kinky community says.

In fact almost all of the relationships I saw around Me when growing up where FLR - it's was the women who did everything, noticed everything, decided everything, told men what to do and what to wear even, came up with ideas for family activities, decided and noticed when something needed to be fixed in the house, looked after the children, cleaned the house, went to school meetings, remembered everyone's birthdays and anniversaries and decided what gifts / clothes / almost everything to buy, decided where and when to go on holiday, what to eat and made the food, put most effort in maintaining the relationship...

You get the picture. I'm sure many of you know this pattern very well.

And don't you agree this is a FLR if we're looking at the term very literally? Just...a very unhealthy one. Possibly non consensual and oppressive for both parties. And certainly not very kinky and sexy for the Femmes.

And thus, from a very young age, I knew this is not a pattern for Me. I have zero interest in men or anyone who want to be led in such a disempowering way. This does not create a deep connection and generosity for each other, it builds walls and resentment instead. It kills the desire for play, tease and growth. And that's utterly useless for anyone who is interested in being more than alive.

So I'm coming up with other terms. One of them is Submissive Served Relationship. Or SSR - with no connection to soviet socialist republics, but certainly with certain socialist values. No gender and no pressure on the Dominant to be the active one. Submissive serves. How and when they serve is an agreement, but the key is that they do it and strive to do it. The focus is on that.

After all, your servitude is what I'm here to enjoy :)

Curious to hear your thoughts on this in the comments.

Always in love with being served the way I want,
Eve